A little inspiration.

I don’t think it’s any secret that this year I’ve been a little low on joyfulness. To be honest, I think I’ve been on a downward slide for quite some time, but the bountiful merriness of the holiday season lifted me out of my blues through the new year. But then there were January and February. Two cold months, bitter in more ways than one. A lot of gray. A lot of cold. Starting completely over.

I’ve been stuck in this yucky rut ever since. It’s one of those weird feelings where I’m not so upset that I feel like I need to do anything about it. But at the same time, I’m grouchy and throwing miserable pity parties for myself (like this one) that are entirely unproductive and, quite frankly, annoying.

I know a lot of this is because I miss M, and I’m frustrated at work a lot. It’s also partially due to the immense amount of TV I’ve been watching that cuts into my beauty sleep. It’s also a simple lack of motivation to make a change in my life. I’m a firm believer in the phrase “we are as happy as we make up our minds to be.” For these past two months, I’ve made up my mind that slugging through the day is enough. I’ve decided that simply getting through the workday is an ample way to live my life. And I’ve been wrong.

I don’t know if my attitude is brightening because today was a balmy 77 degrees in Washington today. Or if because the sun was shining and I let myself have afternoon frozen yogurt. Or if it’s because I just got home from the gym and my brain is still swarming with endorphins that are inflating my mood. Either way, I’ll take it.

I was reading up on my mom blogs just a few minutes ago, and I stumbled upon some inspiration that instantly turned me to my blog to share this little verse with you:

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Habakkuk 3:17-18

How beautiful is that? How reassuring is that? In the deepest and most lowly moments of our lives, we can still be joyful in the Lord. If fact, we NEED to be joyful. At the lowest of the lows in our lives, our work, our relationships, ourselves, we need joy. And Jesus. It also reminds me of a portion of Psalms 30. Joy comes in the morning. No matter how haphazard and disastrous our lives seem at 11 p.m., there will be peace and calm and redemption by sunrise. We can lay our sorrows down with our bedtime prayers and rest assured that Jesus will clean our souls by morning. So reassuring.

So tonight, I’m filling my bedside worry jar with all my grievances. All the late hours worked and miles away from M and fights with friends and sorrow from my losses, I’m stuffing into my theoretical jar and leaving them there for Jesus to clear away. I’m going to bed with a clear mind and open heart and eagerly anticipating joy in the morning.

And I’m going to need it. I have a client meeting in back woods Virginia tomorrow that’s at 3.5 hour drive each way. You better believe I’ll be praying for patience. Also, I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that my comfort in Bible verses isn’t in some small way more prominent because of my recent infatuation with GCB. Don’t hate it.

To finding great inspiration,

Lia