Theme Song.

Today I was in the gym after a long day at work. I was exhausted. I had a client dinner that went until 10 last night, and I didn’t sleep well after. Then, I had a customer come into my office this morning for a two hour meeting followed by a two hour lunch. I had been smiling and presenting and making this prospect feel comfortable with the Bank. So when it all ended, all I wanted to do was curl up under my desk and sleep. But my inbox was full of red font screaming back at me, my voicemail light was flashing and I had a note from my manager saying, “I’ve got a new one for you.”

I took a deep breath and plowed away for the next five hours, trying to make a dent in my inbox and accomplishing most of the items I had on my “to do” list scheduled for today. (I did, however, run to the basement to grab a Coke Zero out of the vending machine to power me through.)

So by 7 p.m. I was weary but decided to hit the gym anyway. After a few minutes on the elliptical, I was feeling much better. I was clearing my head, watching Wheel of Fortune and was more concerned with the pain in my shoulder than anything work-related. Then, just as I was getting ready to run the stairs, some 1990s Kenny Chesney came on my iPod. Great motivation. Three songs later I heard a few familiar bars from one of my favorite songs in college. “Woman With You” is a sweet and catchy song, and I’ve always liked it, but today was the first time I’ve heard it since I’ve become this new woman. The lyrics spoke to me in a way that I had never understood before. I instantly felt like I was that woman (especially when Kenny makes the bank reference….how did he know??). It also made me wonder how Kenny got so inside the mind of a woman to draft these lyrics—I’m betting he had a little help from an overwhelmed and overworked woman somewhere. Here are a portion of the lyrics:

She said, the girl I was with the business degree probably wouldn't recognize me.

I was gonna run the bank. I was gonna run the math.

Now all I want to run is a bubble bath.

Back then, you know, I had this plan. Before all of this reality set in.

Here comes life, boy, ready or not.

Hey, I wanted it all and that's what I got.

Cause I'm gopherin’, chauffeuring, company chairman. Coffee maker, Copy repairman.

Anymore there ain't nothing, I swear man, that I don't do.

Been juggling, struggling, closing big deals. Dancing backwards in high heels.

Just when it feels like I can't make it through.

She said, it sure is nice to just be the woman with you.

This crazy woman is me. I’m sure of it. I prayed and wished and tried so hard for everything that I have right now: a fantastic job that pays more money than any 24-year-old is worth, a cozy apartment that’s just mine in a lovely neighborhood, enough money to order takeout a few nights a week and fund my shopping sprees at Loft right down the street, a multitude of responsibility (work and otherwise) and a comfortable life that I’ve come to enjoy.

But sometimes (actually most of the time, more recently), all I want to do is curl up on the couch with M, watch a movie and not think about any of these great things that I’ve tried so hard for. I spent the first 18 months of my career trying so hard to get myself to this place, and now that I’m here, all I want is to forget about all of it whenever I can. Sometimes this makes me feel pathetic and ungrateful. And sometimes it just makes me feel like a need a strong drink, a mani/pedi and DVR of every show on Bravo.

However, what I think it should mean is that I am a lucky, lucky lady. Even though I’m exhausted and at the end of my rope on a daily basis, I’ve proved to myself that hard work and determination will take me to where I want to be. I’ve shown myself how to deal with big changes (and little ones) and how to be graceful and calm when I feel like breaking down (alright, not always graceful and calm, but most of the time or at least a valiant effort).

And M is a constant reminder that life and love always trump money and work, which is something I sometimes need help remembering. We’re always trying to strike a balance between the opposing forces in our lives, and I’m trying to remember that we don’t always need to stand perfectly in the middle to be happy and successful.

To good, old Kenny,

Lia